Sabtu, 09 Juni 2012

Guilt



The worst feeling that every human has to feel in their life. Do you think it's my fault, his fault, her fault or everybody fault that make me feel this way? But is that matter?

I've been having this flu since wednesday, and I just got period *awesome, great :( * and I got this mood swing  because of that. Any woman probably experience what I have and now exactly how annoying this is. Anyway, last night I have an argument, maybe my thick skull cause it, idk, but it makes me feel guilty, that I'm the one who cause it, make someone get angry, and idk how to make it better.

I will take the blame, it's easier like that, or It will never end.


Selasa, 22 Mei 2012

Transportation.. Transformation?



One thing I hate the most every morning is driving in Jakarta. You need to have a big heart, lots of mineral water to prepare because in a matter of second you will get frustrated in the middle of big chaos. My route to work actually pretty simple, despite the heavy traffic, I can get to work in 30 min approximately.

My worst enemy while driving is Mikrolet, they like a pain in the a$$, a pimple that about to explode, a birdy poop, a needle in the grass, idk how to say it. They like to stop anytime, anywhere, picking up a very selfish passenger, who don't want to walk to the bus terminal or a proper place, and just by easily wave their hand to stop this monsterlet. I'm tired of shaking my head, horn blasting, saying "Astaghfirullah" over and over. Idk which one who need to be educate, the driver or the passenger? you decide.

Whoever will be selected as Governor in jakarta, should take a quick action in making a drastic change for public transportation in Jakarta. TransJakarta is a good real example but as a passenger myself in this bus, I saw how lack of maintaining the bus condition, people lining up waiting for the bus that's not always come on time.

But the most important is, how to educate, make a very strict ground rule to the people, so they will have a self realization that public transportation also belong to them, and is our job to use it wisely, responsible and not do anything destructive.

The drastic change, won't be easy. But we need a leader who brave enough to face these narrow minded people and has a vocal ability to show them that for making a better place to live, we need to have a big transformation.

And I want to be able, every morning, driving without worries, anger and frustration, even we can't avoid the heavy traffic, but we can feel safe and not have more wrinkles in our early age.

Baboosh!


Senin, 21 Mei 2012

Make Me Up



I'm not into make up. If not because a wedding to attend or a party to go to, I will think twice to put on my make up (which I don't have any variety) to go anywhere.
I don't event put any those make up stuff when I go to work.
I don't know is it necessary to do? But I always look at my mom every morning, spending 30 minute of her life to pamper up, put everything and just be normal, is that it? I'm not normal? lol
Anyway, since I have to buy some stuff for seserahan, I guess I need to start learning how to use make up to my daily life.
Gonna be weird and not easy at first I'm sure, but not gonna hurt to try right?

 Here we go.. Make Me Up!

M.

Rabu, 14 Desember 2011

Eat This!

You! All think that I don't care? That I don't give a damn?

The truth is, none of you GET IT!

All my life. I serve and serve and just think about everybody else! I'm not whining, I deft not ask something in return, as a matter a fact, you can have everything and leave me NOTHING! Because that is not what I want in life! Go head say all you want, either I'm not gratefull or I'm a selfish human being, why don't u take a look in the mirror and THINK before YOU SPEAK!!!

What have I done all my life? I've been taking care of every single thing! Am I ever complaining? Not Ever! I'm doing all this because I care! Because I think about everybody else over me. Is that not enough?

Is this a burden, the way God show me how He loves me? How the universe revolve around me? Why I feel pain inside? Why I feel like, I'm the trash bag, with you all putting every trash inside me and let me clean all the dirt.

Is that what I am to everyone of you?

I'm just human, with feeling, maybe I'm not strong enough, maybe I am not good enough, but For Godsake! I CARE! SO MUCH! IT HURTS!

Wish someone appreciate that... even just for a lil bit.

Rabu, 07 Desember 2011

W

Why can't you understand? That I do care. But this disapointment overshadow everything..
When will you stop? Trying to reach the highest mountain when you don't have a knowledge to do so?
Where is the honor? To everyone at least since I know I'm not even counted since the beginning..
Who are you looking for? Nobody there... they all gone now.
Will you look at them at me and just embrace our life as simple as it can be...

I hope you realize.. all of this.. is not worth it.

posted from Bloggeroid

Kamis, 03 November 2011

MI -tr- A Sehat? Engga Tuh

Gara-gara ada sesorang yg bilang: "Mitra Sehat itu lebih enak dari pada Bersih&Sehat", langsung dong gw secara konsumen setia Bersih&Sehat, dadanya sesek, idung kembang kempis, ga terima tapi penasaran
Akhirnya yg tadinya sudah melenggang ke Pim1 buat pijet di Kenko akhirnya hantam haluan ke Mitra Sehat (Gandaria City). Ber3 gw, nyokap dan kakak, book an Mia buat pijet selama 1 jam disana.
Sampai sana, kesan pertama biasa aja, kita langsung di sambit oleh mbak2 receptionist dan langsung di suruh masul kedalam.
Saat masuk kedalam, kesan pertama yg biasa aja, menjadi kesan kedua, umm ini kok gelap gelap gimanaaaa gitu, makin deg2 duer pas ada suara bapak2 or si mbak2 pijet ini manggilnya oom (hayoo), ternyata ga dipisah laki perempuan. Cuman yah masih positive thinking lah, siapa tau pijetannya dahsyat alakmajan.
Setelah diminta siap2, baru sadar, mana handukkk? Di cari di bawah meja gak ada, di atas bed ga ada, di kolong malah nemu sendal jepit, untung ga nemu yg aneh2. Celingak celinguk nyari mbak2 nya, tapi ga ada siapa2, akhirnya setelah 3 menitan ada mbak2 yg melenggang kangkung, tanpa ba bi bu langsung nanya "mba handuk!", eh mba nya celingak celinguk, nemu ada handuk di tempat orang, diambil lah, gpp yg penting baru.
Uda rebahan, nunggu semenit, dua menit, sampe itung kambing loncat biar ngantuk, mbak nya ga dtg2, baru mau protes barulah mbaknya tiba2 muncul out of nowhere hii (kenapa jadi horor).
Anyway singkat kata singkat cerita
Pijatannya ga ada tekniknya, biasa aja bahkan dibeberapa titik, sakit banget, dia hanya bertumpu sama kekuatan jempol (tangan tentunya) dan gak bermain di telapak tangan. It hurts so bad in some point, I cringe, I make a face, tapi mungkin karena ketutup bantal, mbaknya ga ngeh kali ya.
Sampai detik2 berakhir,, pada gw ga berasa relax, and I was so piss becos I spent Rp.110.000 for nothing!

Saya ga peduli deh walau ruangan remang2, kamar campur cowo/cewe, mbak2 nya rok nya mau pendek segimanapun, tapi asalkan pijetnya enak.

I need to find this particular person who told me that this place is better than Bersih&Sehat and tell her that she was WRONG.BIG.

*sigh*

posted from Bloggeroid

Selasa, 27 September 2011

First Step is never easy

If you asking me let's say 6 years ago, have I find my peace of my Ex? I'm gonna say big NO. It's not easy, bloody ugly and seems impossible to do at that time. But if you change the question with : have u survived from the Ex? I will deft say YES, I am surviving at that time but I have pretty good feeling for being survived.

Losing something or someone that you truly adore and love, is not as easy as losing your money or your precious bag, which you can find another one in countable time, for facing the hard reality, you need to bleed, cry, losing your appetite or worst going crazy, but let me tell you something, embrace it, walk through it and you know what, every hard path that you take, it leads somewhere and for saying "I'm not gonna make it" is a Major Bull..

Now, I found the ghost from the pass and it's like a wake up call, like the new me flying to my past and laughing like a maniac for my old me being silly, stupid and all the nasty thing you can call it. But do I proud? Yes I am, I am proud to get a chance to fail, to stumbling down. For me having the chance to learn and  how to be strong is a feeling that I will cherish for the rest of my life.

For those who just taking your first step, I want to say one thing, don't look back! Keep moving forward! "For how long?" It can takes 5 years or even One day, that depend how you find a peace inside of you. Just let go all the blames, hatred and expectation.

It's time for you to survived!

M.